在拿回成绩的那一瞬间，仿佛世界放慢了脚步明明应该做好了心理准备,却依旧无法接受。
也许，本来能够接受，只是当下，听到身边的人的交流，我无法不悲伤。
最令人心痛的不是自己不够用功没考出好成绩，而是发现原来自己是那么孤单。
才发现，在这之前的四年，我是多么的幸福，身边总是有人安慰我，鼓励我，激发我。
今天，自己默默地看着成绩，默默地对自己说没关系，默默地告诉自己可以更用功做得更好的。
然后，觉得孤单寂寞。真正的感觉到了改变。再来，开始想念。开始回忆。如果现在像以前一样，我可以向谁说苦；谁会主动安慰我。
当时的朋友不只顾自己，当时的朋友不会忘记我的存在。
想着想着，很想哭。
想为自己的没用气馁的哭一下，想为自己的损失哭一下，想为自己的寂寞哭一下 ，想为自己的想念哭一下。
可是却克制住。提醒自己。已经是一个人。已经不再受人保护。不.能.哭
顿时怀念你的安慰。每次考差，你都会说，没关系，继续加油，你可以的。字里行间给了我多少的力量
顿时怀念老师的安慰。 想起以前在武中许多老师都没有放弃过我。即使一次又一次的交了烂成绩，他们还是那么愿意一次又一次地花时间教我……
剩下不下十一星期的时间把自己的实力好好发挥出来。我做好准备，蓄势待发。
不该有的念头，却一直有：朋友们都上了天堂，剩我一人独自留在凡间。没什么不好，但忘了当初打拚的感觉。
P.s. Maybe I am not alone after all. Maybe I just think too much. Tried to recall if back in bp other friends treat me like that: Only think of their results but totally ignore me. Maybe. I can't be so self-centred and expect others to think about me all the time. And after all, that cup of soyabean is warm enough. Warmth of Friendship.
To Jorin Ng:
Enough of slacking for two and half years. Time to work hard and prove to people the results you should have, and what results real studying will bring about (:
To my fellow friends:
I guess I will need your help too :D
Wanted to think of something to talk to him, or start up some conversation. In the end asking him about results. He got sort of impatient. Okay he's not exactly impatient but you'll know he doesn't want to talk about that.. Wrong move eh. So throughout we didn't talk much, except about work work work. Sian.
